Patient diary

We remember a very special woman

Mrs. Hellenen (name changed) who died in our hospice in spring 2022. For a few weeks, she lived here with the other hospice guests and us. Mrs. Hellenen experienced Advent, Christmas and the New Year. “Ja moi”, “now I’m here with you, I’m staying for a while, I still want to see the poppy blossom” were her words when she moved in.
In January 2022, Anne and I will vacate her hospice room. She has died – long before the poppy blooms. The relatives take her things with them. We are asked to take care of everything that is left. In her legacy, we discover a special treasure. A notebook, rather inconspicuous from the outside, but the pages filled with quotes, wisdom, lines that were important to Mrs. Hellenen, which she wrote down by hand (hereinafter “„bold italics“).
Her volunteer companion Anne and I start reading, and we remember the time with Mrs. Hellenen with her written lines. We spent two hours in her room, reading, talking, laughing and crying. We have written down some of our thoughts here.

“Life is not about having good cards, but about playing well with a bad hand”

It was a special meeting – Mrs. Hellenen had signed up for a “Last Help Course”. She wanted to do this course to deal with the end of life. “Maybe I’ll become a volunteer hospice companion then,” she told me on the phone in autumn 2019. The course was already full, so I had to put her off with a place on the waiting list. The next course was supposed to take place in January. I called her and was shocked when she said, “I will no longer take part in the course, I will not be a volunteer hospice companion, I will die. But it’s particularly good that you already have my phone number and address.”
She wants me to visit her so she can register at the inpatient hospice. “It’s not that far down the line, and I want to take precautions,” she says.

“Coming together is the beginning. Being together is progress. Staying together is success”

This is how we met Ms. Hellenen, who over time became Greta for both of us. At the time, I was the coordinator at the outpatient hospice and visited Ms. Hellenen in her special home. Seventy steps had to be climbed to reach her small apartment high above the rooftops of Göttingen. A very small apartment. Only one and a half rooms, very modestly furnished. She had made it beautiful with what she had, and that was little. Life was palpable in this tiny apartment. After this conversation, the right volunteer was quickly found, because Ms. Hellenen had clear ideas. She would be direct, clear communication at eye level was desired, a “hands-on”, someone who is interested, she should be open and humorous.
Anne Jakobi: When I met Greta, she was sceptical at first; “Do I need hospice care already? I am still very much alive. However, I like you, the chemistry is right.” I accompanied Greta through the course of her illness, drove with her to diagnostic meetings, accompanied her to chemotherapy and visited her in the hospital after the operation. From the very beginning of the illness, it was clear that there would be no cure, but with palliative therapy, the doctors try to alleviate the symptoms and not only extend life, but also open up the possibility of remaining self-determined for a long time.
I visited her every Wednesday. We spent a lot of time together. She talked about her life, about the hardships in her family of origin and the good things she was able to experience on her travels, with her friends and her voluntary work for young families. A friendship developed. We spent time in her and my garden, went shopping and ate ice cream. We had many intense and deep conversations. I accompanied her to the inpatient hospice, on her final journey to this day, when I pack her things.

“If your roots are deep, you don’t need to fear the wind”

She was a wonderful woman! Deeply human, empathetic, unprejudiced, open, present, always helpful. She loved people! Nature was important to her; this was where she had her roots.
She was inquisitive – she travelled a lot. All over the world. She wanted to experience people and cultures; that is what made her so lively. She dealt with all the blows of fate, reflected on her roots and looked for ways. Facing the wind of life.

“You don’t have to make the path rockier than it already is, but keep an eye on the flowers along the way”

When she moved into the hospice, Greta wanted to organize legal care and was happy that our social worker took care of everything. She very consciously handed over the burden. She often said, “I don’t have to climb seventy steps anymore, my room is up there.”

“You should place less importance on your weight and more importance on your values”

Greta enjoyed living in the hospice. Every day she was happy about the beautifully laid table, the food, the other hospice guests, relatives and our table company. She wrote thank you letters to our volunteer cake bakers and the cook. She secretly distributed little cards throughout the hospice that said “Pocket Sun”. When we decorated the Christmas tree, she was there, even though “I never really had anything left for Christmas”. She experienced the small Christmas market on the terrace, Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve very consciously with all of us in the hospice. Until she got worse in mid-January, her dizziness increased and she became weaker.

“A lack of desire leads to inner peace”

Greta no longer leaves her room, and soon she will not leave her bed either. She no longer eats and drinks little. She does not want her friends to visit her, only Anne should stay with her and she wants to see her brother and sister one last time. And the window must always remain open now – “my soul must be able to get out.” Greta Hellenen dies very peacefully. “A very special death with a smile,” is what the nursing staff who were with her tell us.

“Life is like a dandelion, when its time comes, everyone has to fly on alone”

Greta would have liked to see the poppy blossom.
Anne Jakobi (volunteer at the Lutter hospice) and Manuela Brandt-Durlach (hospice manager)